Pepper Launches Republican Exhibitionist Website

In recent years and hours, Pepper has lost several of his most virulent conservative supporters to sex related scandals. Several of his friends, including Larry Craig, Homeless Man Who Yells at Cars in Front of the Cato Institute (Cato to his friends), Mark Sanford, and Hitler Lady, have all found themselves under fire. Both Larry Craig and Hitler Lady will now be forever associated with the wide stance, just as Sanford with trips to Argentina and dendrophilia, and Cato with high priced call girls in the Mayflower Hotel.

In response, and as a service to his supporters, Pepper has launched "ChatRoullette.com," a website for freaky-deaky conservatives to get their jollies in a truly anonymous atmosphere. The website has quickly gained international notoriety as terrified politicians have finally found an outlet for their desire to dress up as Hannah Montana and insert bottles into their recta in a public forum.

Lawn dart and sheep bondage aficionado, the hilariously named John Boner (R, Ohio), is overjoyed to have finally found a public forum in which to express his particular fetish. "I mean, Ohio is full of sheep and sheep lovers, but up to now, my lady Snowball and I had to live pretty much in secret. I'm not really much for showing off, but she's a total exhibitionist, so I felt like I could never really satisfy her. It was pretty much just the two of us, a ball gag and a tub of crisco. But now, with Chatroullette, we can share our love with the world, and I have no fear of anyone finding out my true identity. I mean, I'm wearing a leather mask anyway, so I don't even have to do anything to hide my face. It's pretty sweet!"

A conservative blogger who prefers not to be named has become a staple on ChatRoullette. "Sometimes I enjoy dressing up in an evening dress and just dancing around for whomever comes up. Others, I just put on my favorite hat and smoke cigarettes while I talk to 13 year old girls. It's awesome! No more trolling the middle schools for me!"




Adam's appled aryan writer and anal sex aficionado, Ann Coulter, admits to a secret love for wearing nothing but Barack Obamas face over her non-gender-specific genitalia and walking around Foggy Bottom. She has lived in fear of being caught, but is now able to flaunt her angry inch to the world and no one is the wiser. "I mean, conservative or not, we all want Barry to bury his face in our pen-gina. What do you mean you don't have a pen-gina?"

Pepper, has enjoyed a rise in the polls among sexually dysfunctional conservatives since launching his new site. There has been a particular rise among those who enjoy sex with children and farm animals. In response to this news, Pepper held a press conference in front of the C Street House in which he stripped naked and threw feces covered socks at passers by for about 15 minutes before thrice declaring, "We hope to raise the profile of the conservative movement in America, and by removing the constant fear of arrest for sexual misconduct, to spread the message of tea bagging throughout the land." Then he urinated on the rhododendron, dressed himself, and walked to 7-11 to buy a giant hot dog.